Add by Subtracting
In the past, I believed that saying "Yes" to every opportunity was the path to success, and if I turned things down, I was turning my back on the chance to advance. But I've realized that saying "No" can be just as powerful.
Research shows that humans often view subtraction as a negative action and addition as a positive one. Our brains are naturally wired to prioritize addition, and subtraction doesn't come as readily. It requires conscious effort and isn't a part of our default thinking processes.
However, there's a valuable concept called "addition by subtraction." By consciously letting go of things, situations, or relationships that don't serve us, we create space for things that do. Think: Less-is-More, To-don’t-list, This-NO-helps-me-grow, No-is-a-complete sentence…or whatever mantra allows you to pause and assess.
Still need help when stuck in the yes-no conundrum? Here are a few ways, offered by author and entrepreneur Rob Dance, to help shift from the automatic yes when you know that NO is best:
Pause by saying 'Let me think about it' to evaluate the value of the request and set boundaries.
Empower yourself with 'I don't' instead of 'I can't' to assert control and avoid feeling limited.
Reflect on why you said no to eliminate guilt and reinforce your decision-making.
Once decided, move forward without dwelling on doubts or second-guessing yourself."
When standing at the yes or no crossroads, it’s great to apply the concepts of awareness, intention, and being at choice. When we employ this triad, regardless if the decision is ultimately a yay or a nay, we support ourselves in moving forward positively and empowered.
Conflux Retirement Coaching is about merging the best of who you are with who you want to be. Let’s connect and explore where you can add by subtracting. By heightening our awareness, setting our intentions, and deepening our commitment to what we hold as important and meaningful and where we choose to focus our time and attention, we continue on a pathway leading to greater peace, productivity and fulfillment.