“What Do You Do?”
Rewriting the Question That Trips Up So Many Retirees
You meet someone new. The conversation flows. Then comes that familiar question: “So… what do you do?”
For many of my clients in retirement, this is where things get awkward.
Saying “I’m retired” often feels like a full stop. Some feel dismissed. Others feel overlooked. The energy shifts and not always in a good way.
After years of being known by a title or career, it’s no wonder that question can stir up discomfort. We’re used to leading with what we do, not necessarily with who we are.
This brings to mind a question I often pose: “If you are what you do… who are you when you don’t?”
This reflection doesn’t mean there’s an eminent identity crisis. Instead it’s an invitation to reframe and reconnect with your values, your interests, and the roles you want to play now.
Enter the Social Résumé
To support this shift, I introduce clients to the concept of a social résumé.
Like a professional résumé, it highlights what you bring to the table. But instead of titles, degrees, or job functions, it reflects:
Your passions and curiosities
Your community involvement or causes you care about
The roles you play as a mentor, volunteer, or creative
What you’re learning, sharing, or exploring
The values you want to live and lead with
It’s Not One-Size-Fits-All
Your resume doesn’t have to be impressive. It just has to feel true to you.
Some clients are still figuring it out. Others are already leaning into bold new chapters. Most are somewhere in between. and that’s exactly where the social résumé shines.
For example, you might say:
“I’m still exploring—volunteering a bit, journaling, and giving myself space to rediscover what lights me up.”
Or:
“I mentor first-gen college students, volunteer with a literacy program, and I’m learning watercolor painting.”
Whatever approach you take is valid. What matters most is having a response that feels true to where you are right now.
How to Start Building Your Social Résumé
Think of your social résumé as a living document that captures not just what you’ve done, but how you’re growing and contributing now. It doesn’t need bullet points and job titles. It needs clarity, curiosity, and a few key ingredients:
1. What lights you up right now?
Think: hobbies, causes, ideas, creative sparks. What gives you energy—even if you’re just dabbling?
2. Where are you showing up?
This could be community involvement, caregiving, mentoring, volunteering, or even being more present for your family.
3. What are you learning or exploring?
Retirement doesn’t mean you stop growing. What are you curious about or eager to dive into?
4. What values are you leading with?
Your social résumé is also a reflection of what matters to you now. What do you want your life to say through how you spend your time and where you focus your attention?
5. What story do you want to tell when someone asks, “What do you do?”
Combine the pieces above into a sentence or two that feels real, not rehearsed. Something that invites connection, not comparison.
Examples:
“I’ve stepped back from a long corporate career and am now spending more time mentoring new entrepreneurs, supporting a local food pantry, and finally learning guitar, something I’ve always wanted to do.”
“I’m focused on family right now, helping with grandkids and volunteering at their school. I’ve also joined a writing group. Turns out, I’ve got a few stories to tell.”
This isn’t about putting on a new label. It’s about naming what matters to you now and sharing it in a way that feels real.
Final Thought
Just like your professional résumé, this one can be updated as you grow, explore, and reimagine what’s next.
So when someone asks, “What do you do?”… you’ll have a response that feels natural, self-assured, and keeps the conversation, and you, flowing.
Conflux Retirement Coaching is about merging the best of who you are with who you want to become. The age-old question about “What do you do” presents an obstacle for many and an opportunity for all. If you’d like support in gaining clarity for yourself and the ability to share with others, together let’s explore and create your social résumé.
