The Art of Transition
…Honoring the Past, Shaping What’s Next
Change is inevitable, but transitions are where the real transformation happens. When stepping into a new phase of life—like retirement—the greatest challenge isn’t just the external shift but the internal journey of redefining identity, purpose, and direction.
William Bridges, a leading expert on transitions, describes this process in three phases: The Ending, The Neutral Zone, and The New Beginning—a model that closely aligns with what Bruce Feiler calls “the nonlinear life” and what Abigail Brenner, MD, describes as the transformative power of rituals in marking life’s turning points.
PHASE 1 - The Ending: Letting Go of What Was
Every transition begins with an ending. Retirement isn’t just about leaving a job; it’s about leaving behind a structure, a role, and in many ways, an identity that has shaped how we see ourselves. This phase can stir emotions ranging from relief and excitement to grief and uncertainty.
Bruce Feiler, in Life Is in the Transitions, explains that people go through what he calls “lifequakes”—disruptive events that force us to reassess and rewrite our story. He emphasizes that honoring endings is essential because “the single greatest act that unlocks a transition is a ritual.”
Abigail Brenner, MD, echoes this sentiment, stating: “Rituals provide the bridge between what was and what is to come. They help us let go of what no longer serves us while creating space for what’s next.”
Reflection questions for this phase:
What aspects of your career or past identity are hardest to let go of?
How can you acknowledge this transition in a way that feels meaningful?
What personal ritual—big or small—can help you close this chapter with intention?
PHASE 2 - The Neutral Zone: The In-Between Space
This is the most uncomfortable yet crucial part of a transition. It’s the space between the known and the unknown, where old routines no longer fit, but new ones haven’t fully formed. Many feel lost here, wanting to rush into what’s next without allowing the time for self-discovery.
Feiler describes this as “the messy middle”—a time of exploration where we experiment, adapt, and redefine our path. It’s here that growth happens, not through rigid planning, but through small, intentional steps.
Rather than fearing the unknown, consider:
What if this period of uncertainty wasn’t a problem to solve, but an opportunity to explore?
What assumptions about retirement might be limiting your next steps?
What small shifts can you make to lean into this new phase without pressure to “have it all figured out”?
PHASE 3 - The New Beginning: Redefining Yourself
A true new beginning doesn’t happen on a set timeline—it emerges when you’ve done the inner work to align your identity with your next chapter. A fulfilling retirement isn’t just about filling time—it’s about being intentional, engaging with what matters, and shaping a life that reflects your evolving values.
Feiler found in his research that those who navigated transitions successfully weren’t the ones who had all the answers but the ones who embraced reinvention: “People who turn the page on their past and author a new story for themselves thrive in transition.”
Consider asking yourself:
What excites you about the possibilities ahead?
What values will guide your decisions moving forward?
How can you author a story for this next chapter that feels authentic and energizing?
Embracing the Process
Transitions aren’t linear, and they don’t have a fixed timeline. If you find yourself lingering in one phase longer than expected, that’s normal. The key is to approach this shift with curiosity, self-compassion, and a willingness to redefine what fulfillment looks like.
Instead of asking, What’s next?, consider asking, Who am I becoming?
By reframing retirement as a transition rather than just an event, you open yourself up to growth, reinvention, and purpose-driven living.
Conflux Retirement Coaching is about merging the best of who you are with who you want to be. Retirement isn’t just about what you’re leaving behind—it’s about what’s next. If this chapter isn’t unfolding as you hoped, it’s time to look within and realign. Clarity, purpose, and fulfillment are within reach. If you’re looking for a thought partner to navigate and make the most of your transition, let’s connect—I’d love to help you shape a retirement that truly fits you.
