The Present in Presence
We hear a lot about planning for the future—vision boards, 5-year goals, and especially in retirement circles, making sure the financials are solid for the next 20 to 30 years. And yes, having a roadmap matters. Clarity and intention matter. But here’s the tension: in our effort to be future-ready, we can lose touch with what’s right in front of us.
We get so focused on what’s next that we miss what’s now.
This came into sharp focus for me recently when I thought back on a time in my life when I was fully, deeply present.
Surprisingly, what came to mind wasn’t a big vacation or a milestone celebration—it was the birth of my children. First our older son, then our twins. These were physically intense, emotionally loaded experiences. And yet, I remember feeling completely calm. Focused. Quiet in my mind. That wasn't my usual operating mode at the time, but something in me instinctively shifted. I knew I had a job to do. I knew I had to be strong and steady. Fully there. And I was.
Even decades later, those moments are vivid. Not just because of the significance of the event, but because I was fully present. I didn’t miss it. I didn’t rush through it. I was all in—and that brought out the best in me.
That reflection raised a question: What allowed me to show up that way? And how can we tap into that same presence more often—not just at life’s milestones, but in the quiet, ordinary days in between?
Here’s what stood out:
Responsibility brought clarity. When we feel a deep sense of ownership—whether for a person, a decision, or a moment—it naturally sharpens our focus.
Presence calls us into who we want to be. Calm. Strong. Intentional. When we tune in, we often rise up.
What we experience when we're present sticks. It becomes imprinted, not just as a memory, but as a felt sense of meaning.
We can’t live every minute in a hyper-aware state. Life’s messy, full of distractions.
But we can build in moments of presence. We can practice putting the phone down. Taking a deep breath. Listening closely. Saying “yes” to something small that lights us up. That’s the stuff that makes this chapter rich—not just well-planned, but well-lived.
Let’s remember, being present doesn’t mean to overlook that planning is essential—it gives structure to our future and anchors our choices. But the wide-open space that often comes with retirement can lead to inertia or distraction if we’re not intentional.
Strengthening your ability to be present helps you stay engaged with what matters now, even as you keep an eye on what’s next. It’s not about choosing between the two—it’s about living today with the same purpose you’re bringing to your future.
So yes, have a vision. Set the course. Make the plan. But don’t let the pull of the future rob you of the beauty of the present. The opportunity isn’t just to arrive at a well-designed next chapter—it’s to live it while you're in it.
Conflux Retirement Coaching is about merging the best of who you are with who you want to become. Being present isn’t a pause—it’s a power move. It’s how we stay connected to what matters now, while still building what’s next. And when we lead with presence, we don’t just plan a life—we live it.
