Bridging the Retirement Gap

What happens after the champagne toast?
When someone retires, the first few weeks, months, maybe even years can feel like a celebratory freefall: sleeping in, tossing the calendar, traveling, catching up on long-postponed projects. It’s what many refer to as the Honeymoon Phase. It’s light. It’s earned. And for some, it’s exactly what’s needed after decades of structure.

But here’s the catch: the Honeymoon Phase often masks a deeper reality that hasn't been reckoned with yet. And when the novelty fades (as it always does), what’s left can feel disorienting. I often hear, “I should be happy, but I feel off. A little lost. Unanchored.”

Contrast that with what William Bridges calls the Neutral Zone—a space between the ending and the new beginning. I often refer to this as the Gap Period.

It may not be glamorous, but it’s powerful. And the impact? More enriching and sustaining over time, especially as we age.

To illuminate the impact, let’s take a deeper dive into the Honeymoon Phase vs. Gap Period by doing a quick comparison:

Honeymoon Phase

• Fast out of the gate

• Fueled by excitement and relief

• Often distraction-driven

• Can lead to burnout or restlessness

• May skip over meaning-making

Gap Period

• Slow, reflective start

• Grounded in curiosity and openness

• Intentionally inward-looking

• Can lead to clarity and grounded momentum

• Creates a foundation for meaningful action

Why the Gap Period Matters

In Transitions, William Bridges explains that true transformation doesn’t happen at the start line. It begins with an ending, passes through the neutral zone (the Gap), and only then does something new take shape.

The Gap isn't the absence of purpose, instead it’s the soil where new purpose can take root.

Herminia Ibarra, in her book Working Identity, echoes this when she writes, “We learn who we are—in practice, not in theory—by testing new possibilities.” That can’t happen when we skip from the end of something straight into a frenzied beginning. The Gap allows for experimentation, observation, and slow but steady recalibration.

In the Honeymoon Phase, we’re often sprinting into what's next, fueled by dopamine and optimism, but not necessarily alignment. It feels good, until it doesn’t. Because without deeper reflection, new routines can become empty rituals, and we’re left wondering: Is this it?

The Real Risk of the Honeymoon Phase? False Starts.

It’s easy to go all in on falling out. Fill your calendar. Say yes to everything. Dive headfirst into volunteer work, family obligations, even new businesses…all only to find yourself depleted or disconnected a few months in. Starting from your back foot, trying to reclaim your time, your voice, your identity.

That doesn’t mean the Honeymoon Phase is bad, in fact, it can be a gift. But when we only ride the high, we risk avoiding the necessary inner work that helps us design a life aligned with our truth.

Choosing the Gap: A Different Kind of Beginning

Stepping into a Gap Period isn’t about stalling; it’s about resetting.
It’s a conscious pause to:

• Release the old roles, titles, and expectations

• Reconnect with values, energy, and needs

• Reimagine what’s possible from the inside out

It’s the difference between reactivity and intention. Between rushing and readiness.

As Viktor Frankl reminds us, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose.” The Gap is that space.

So how can we begin in a more connected way? Well, you don’t have to leap. You just need to step.

Here’s what that can look like:

1. Pause.
   Make space. Let the dust settle. Avoid overfilling your calendar too quickly.

2. Reflect.
   Ask: What do I need more of right now? What do I want less of?
   Journaling, coaching, walking without a destination—all these and more can help and can make a difference.

3. Explore.
   Try on new ideas without committing. Volunteer once. Audit a class. Shadow a friend in a field you’re curious about.

4. Rebuild.
   Gradually shape your new rhythm around what fuels and aligns with you.

This step-by-step process isn’t linear, but it is additive. It builds clarity, confidence, and connection over time.

The Bottom Line

You’re not retiring from life. You’re retiring from a career. That distinction matters.

You get to decide what this next chapter holds but only if you give yourself the time and space to listen, discern, and move forward with intention. Skip the pressure to have it all figured out on Day One.

The Gap isn’t a void. It’s your runway.

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Conflux Retirement Coaching is about merging the best of who you are with who you want to become. As Michael McMillan reminds us, “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” So consider the GAP—Get A Pause, Give A Ponder and allow yourself the grace and space to slow the pace. Remember, you have years ahead. A little time, thought, and energy invested now—in what aligns with who you are, what you want, and what’s needed to move forward—can make all the difference.